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Get Married

Marriage is still a universal phenomena in Indian society … there are no questions as to if a person wants to get married or not … it is just the thing that everyone has to do … there are no doubts in it. It’s just a matter of time. So any one who doesn’t get married till 30’s or so is first considered to be mad… choosy … fussy…having high expectations and then as they tumble down the thirties … if it’s a girl then they become frustrated… too independent…selfish and if it’s a guy then he is too difficult … has an affaire with someone from other caste/religion or is seeing another man!

There are no other connotations … everything has been decided and the actual players have no say … they just have to listen and not retaliate and if someone does answer back or tries to argue then … “yeh to hath se nikal gayi/gaya hai… or isse apne ghar waalon ka koi khayal nahin hai”

Now I consider myself to be too lucky… I have a set of parents plus a group of relatives who are slightly deviant from the usual behavior and hence I don’t get to hear all this at home or in any other social functions… though I know that people from outside do sympathize with my clan for my status of ‘single’

So this post is actually a tribute to all those who have issues and consider me to be frustrated … pompous … marriage hater … suffering from anti-man syndrome and totally against marriage … for as per them there is no other reason for me being single!

People would say that being single I can not and should not write about it … I have no authority on it. I differ … for marriage is one topic which does not leave me and I can write quite a bit about it …from various angles. I am the kind of person who can say more about it … for I see it from a distance and hence see it with more clarity! I see the hurdles … the problems … the weakness … the mistakes … the delays!

A lot of reasons come to me as I think of why should one decide to get married and when one should decide it … and it is with this angle that I look at marriage today … from the angle of an unmarried who for a change wants to get married but has some inhibitions … restrictions…hesitations…

  • Get married … soon… in early twenties…for as we grow we become rigid and fixed in our ideas … our exposure increases … we get to know the pros and cons of everything…we know we can manage all…we have heard so many stories of married ones
  • Get married … whenever you find the right person… don’t bother if it’s too early or you are still not successful…do not have enough bank balance … or the big car… or the swanky apartment… or ‘the’ designation
  • Get married … even if your parents don’t like the person …  but you know he is the right one for you
  • Get married … even if that means you are being selfish or so your parents make you feel … as you are not marrying their choice
  • Get married … with the person whom you think is good for you … as your parents may not find any one who is good enough for you … as you are the best one for them and no one measures up to you
  • Get married … not for the society but for your own self…for only you have to live with yourself
  • Get married … only if you have a valid enough reason and not because your best friend is doing so
  • Get married … and be ready for working on your marriage
  • Get married … and be ready to face surprises and shocks of varied shapes and sizes
  • Get married … and be ready to face politics from one and all in your own family and your spouse’s family
  • Get married … but never out of pity… on rebound… for revenge … or avenge… or family name … and never for the heck of getting married …
  • Get married … only for love … which may begin as infatuation … simple liking … admiration … respect … any of these positive feeling … there will be more chances of survival!
  • Get married … knowing that you may have to leave the person … for marriage is a gamble and there are equal chances of it not working out…

But do GET MARRIED… and leave no space for REGRET

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