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What is right and what is wrong?


Right and wrong – are there any absolutes? This is something that troubles me often and I find myself in this dilemma more than I like.

The following post was written a long time back, now as I revisit it … I find it to be strong and aggressive… it has too many question marks and no answers. In simple words I think it’s a ‘young post’ which has lots of anger, aggression, search for answers and of course a deep yearning for self expression!!!

Looking at it now I find that though I still am looking for answers but the quest has changed… so has the level of patience and understanding with which I look at the issue. What is right and wrong still haunts me but I have learnt to keep the dilemma on one side and keep going on with life… hoping to get the answers at the right time. One of the things that I have understood with time is that we might seek for many things but they come to us only when we are ready for them. And wisdom is one such thing. It dawns at its own pace and is not tied to any movement of earth!

What is right and what is wrong?

What is right and what is wrong…isn’t that the eternal point of argument!!! Every one has a firm belief that they are right…no mater what they are doing.

Renu ji…a 55 year old pious religious lady… gets  along very well with her modern daughter in law, to the extent that she stays with her for more than half of the year, has changed her old and almost stringent ways. Only if you go a little back in the history…there are many incidents and many poor innocent victims who had to face the wrath of her mean and selfish nature…all in the name of tradition and family pride. No one had the courage to face her then and now she is the face of sweetness…all her old crimes subsumed in this new face of an adjusting, comprising mother-in-law…isn’t she right…

Kopal….a 31 year old married & mother of a baby girl…another friend of mine…a head strong lady… she knows when to be good and when to be bad (and the same has been made very clear to her mother-in-law)…does not take any flak from anyone…has played her cards very well…and so is reaping the benefits…isn’t she right…

So is it really the matter of doing the right things or doing the things rightly…It seems to me it doesn’t matter if you are doing the right things but it matters how you do them…coz if you do them rightly then you are right otherwise people at every step will prove you wrong…

How right Rohit…a 25 year old single male unemployed friend of mine was in telling me that I should not tell anyone that we went for a late night show…coz though we knew we did wrong but as long as no one gets to know about it… it’s not really a issue!!!

How right Keeraat…a 30 year old female wise friend of mine was on all those occasions when she told me that certain things should not be told… one should not show all the cards…and that its better to omit some parts of truth… tell only half truths…and avoid the gory details…coz what people do not know will not affect them and certainly will not hurt them…

But then why are we taught at every possible instant that we should be honest…and do the right thing…even in the opposition of all the odds…

Why as kids we are scolded when we lie…and why are we asked to be truthful at all the costs…

Why is there no proper teaching done to acquaint us with the real world tactics…where there are no absolute things such as truth…honesty…sincerity…

Why are we not made to learn the art of becoming expert at lying and to be able to lie at the drop of the hat… Is there really no such thing as true friendship…pure love…complete honesty…sincere commitment…

Are there really no absolutes in life…

Is nothing there for real?

Or is it that I am looking at things differently…that I do not really understand the workings of society…and the social people in it…

If not then…why do I have a craving for absolutes… why cant I accept that nothing in this world is perfect…and why do I still believe that one can be good friends with a person of opposite sex…that there really doesn’t have to be a motive for talking to an old friend…that it is possible to hopelessly fall in love with a person without knowing his name… that a whole night can be spent just thinking about someone…or just talking with a friend…that a gift can be given without expecting anything in return…that it is possible to find more than one true love in one life…that it is possible to get along well with one’s mother in-law…that a father doesn’t have to be jealous of his son in-law…and so many such other things…

I have not found any answer…have you???

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